


The Funeral

by adumbparrish



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, M/M, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3760780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adumbparrish/pseuds/adumbparrish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam made his way to the funeral, his legs felt like lead, unwilling to go towards the end. For that was what it was, not the end of Gansey but the end of an era or an epic saga. Gansey was an adventure and Adam was loathe for it to have ended so swiftly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Funeral

**Author's Note:**

> The Raven Cycle and it's characters do not belong to me  
> Originally posted on my tumblr adumbparrish  
> I apologize for this, I take full responsibility for your reaction

“Can you tie my tie for me?” Ronan’s voice was steady and clear but there was a dazed, unfocused look in his eyes. Adam walked over to him and took the tie into his hands and began to knot it, he tried to ignore the trembling of Ronan’s hands, the smell of alcohol that emitted from him and how hard his jaw was clenched.

Adam’s fingers were nimble and the black fabric was knotted perfectly within seconds, Ronan shot him a smile that didn’t, couldn’t seem to make it to his eyes.

“I’ll see you there” he said as he left Monmouth, his pace was faster than usual and Adam stifled the urge to follow him. _He needs some time alone, we all do._

Adam walked into **his** room, well he stood outside of it. He could feel the grief clawing up his throat. It was inescapable, unbearable but he had to go in.

He opened the door and felt the agony swallow him whole. All of his things were just as they had been before, the bed disheveled and books lying open everywhere, awaiting his arrival. _Keep waiting_ he thought. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he willed himself to move forward. After several moments of complete stillness he suddenly stepped forwards as if pushed and grabbed Gansey’s journal _my journal_ Adam corrected himself, all the books and all of Gansey’s discoveries were his now.

They had all been shocked when they found out that Gansey had a will, even more so when they read it.

_I hereby give ownership of all of my books (including novels, historical texts and journals) over to Adam Parrish, along with all of the artifacts that I have discovered. With which he may do whatever he wishes._

_I hereby give ownership of my property, Monmouth Manufacturing, and my vehicle (Camaro) over to Ronan Lynch. With which he may do whatever he wishes._

_I hereby give ownership of my clothing, footwear, outerwear and all other garments to Blue Sargent. With which she may do whatever she wishes._

Noah hadn’t been left anything, understandably since it would be odd for Gansey to have left a corpse anything.

_All bank accounts under my name are to be emptied completely and the contents are to be divided evenly amongst Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Blue Sargent once they reach the age of 18. With which they may use only to cover academic costs._

Ronan had audibly groaned at that last line, “Typical Gansey, asshole’s bossing us around from the grave.”

Adam held the journal so tightly that his knuckles were white, the rest of Gansey’s possessions would be left at Monmouth. They had all agreed that this was where they belonged, to remove them would be like removing a corpse from a grave. Although he doubted that any of them would be able to bear moving them even if Gansey had asked them to.

Adam made his way to the funeral, his legs felt like lead, unwilling to go towards the end. For that was what it was, not the end of Gansey but the end of an era or an epic saga. Gansey was an adventure and Adam was loathe for it to have ended so swiftly.

He saw Helen speaking to some stranger who had the nerve to offer her his card. She took it and ripped it up behind her back while continuing the conversation. Mr. and Mrs. Gansey were weeping softly as people unrecognizable to Adam offered them their condolences. He should’ve felt appalled, these people had not known Gansey, and they grieved for Richard. But all he felt was this hollowness inside of him.

Ronan was angry enough for all of them. He had refused to leave Monmouth since the day Gansey left, this was the first time he had left the building all month. Declan and Ronan had fought almost every day, sometimes even more often.

The bruises on Ronan’s knuckles had become permanent as had the drinking. “It helps me sleep.” he would say, he hadn’t slept a full night in weeks. If this was how he slept drunk, Adam never wanted to see him sleep sober. They would spend the nights together, they discovered the signs of nightmares in each other.

Ronan would start shaking, as if an earthquake was taking in place inside of him, shaking his very being. Adam knew to wake him as smoothly as possible, so that he wouldn’t bring a Dream Gansey back with him. Soft whispers, light touches and delicate movements.

When Adam had a nightmare his breathing would hitch, catch in his throat as if he were being suffocated by an invisible force, if left alone he would awake and scream until his throat felt raw. Ronan knew better than to treat him with fragility. He would wake Adam as fast as possible, shaking him until he awoke with tears streaming down his face.

They were trying to learn how to swim whilst drowning.

Adam found Blue, her posture rigid and her face was wiped clean of all expression. She spoke calmly, she would not let these people see her anguish. That was for Gansey and only Gansey.

“Did you know that he wanted a closed casket?” There was a hint of regret in her tone. An unspoken wish to have seen him once more.

“No, I didn’t. I think it’s about to start, we’d better sit down.”

They grabbed seats next to Ronan and Noah. Noah’s face seemed to be continually tear streaked, he hadn’t spoken to anyone since the day. They couldn’t tell if he hadn’t wanted to or if he couldn’t. They had guessed it was the former and let him be.

The pastor began to give the funeral speech, Adam idly wondered if he gave the same speech at every funeral. _That would be more efficient,_ He knew he was trying to distract himself and this knowledge made the action far more difficult. _He has a very good funeral voice, easy to tune out._

“Richard had requested that his good friend Adam Parrish give his eulogy.” the pastor announced into the microphone.

Adam should’ve known that Gansey would want this, but it had still come as a surprise when he found out. He stood and straightened his shoulders, journal in hand he walked up to the podium.

He wanted to sound strong, for his voice to carry on loud and true. For the eulogy to be more like the beginning of a story, the once upon a time rather than the end.

Instead his voice was a mere whisper, a thread in the fabric rather than the design that people marveled at. The word felt unfamiliar in his mouth, not meant to come from him. He forced it out and reluctantly, the phrase obeyed.

“Excelsior”


End file.
